[ she can't help but tense up a bit and reopen her eyes when he says it, looking more annoyed than she actually feels. releasing a sigh against him, she continues her movements against his skin with her fingers. ] You just did.
Right, um. [ a promising start as his eyes close, reveling in the feeling of her fingers mapping his skin, but he needs to focus now. it keeps eluding him. ] Are we... I mean, do you usually, uh.
[ he swallows, tasting bile. this is beyond awkward. probably best to just spit it out, if he can manage it. his fingers dig into her back like he's scared of her bailing when she hears it. ]
Is this going to be a... exclusive type thing between us or - I'm not, I told you I didn't expect anything and I meant it, it's just, we haven't used anything the past two times and that's probably my fault for not being prepared and for getting swept up... Not that I think. I mean, I know you're being safe, uh. Otherwise?
[ what the fuck are words right now he is so nervous he wants to die thanks for asking ]
Edited (one letter eddittttt) 2019-02-25 05:48 (UTC)
her head retracts back and she furrows her brows because... wow she's kind of confused, and offended? can they not have a nice post sex cuddle moment, frank? peeling herself off of him she stares at him with the most unamused fucking expression. ]
First off, holy shit. Second, uhhhh... what the fuck? Third, can you make up your mind on what the hell it is you want this to be? Fourth, because yes, somehow in that one line of questioning you've managed to get this many different responses out of me, why did you not say anything--I don't know, when I put you inside of me? TWICE?
[ now that she's pretty much voiced all her concerns, she starts to feel a little... embarrassed. clearly she wouldn't be letting him cum in her if she wasn't on some type of birth control, but he's not wrong. he has every right to still ask. to still question. it's a valid concern. but if this made him feel uncomfortable... she puts her hands in her face and groans. ] Oh my God...
Sorry, sorry. [ he sounds almost panicked, tone pitchy as she pulls back from him. his hand closes around her thigh, not wanting her to get up though he knows logically he's not strong enough to keep her anywhere. his face is red now too as he glances away, though his eyes flick back to catch hers every few seconds. ] I didn't... I wasn't really thinking things through.
[ to say the absolute least. frank chews his lips, wishing he were amy degree of smooth in this arena. ]
On the third thing, I want what you want. [ that isn't strictly true, but it's close and she'll be able to see the sincerity in his gaze as he forces it to steady some, his other hand cupping her throat, his thumb idly stroking at her collar. she can shove him off and away, of course, but there's something like awe in his eyes even still when he looks up at her. ] I think you've gleaned by now I'm kinda old-fashioned. [ it sounds hopelessly self-loathing. ] But if you want to... see other people like this, that's up to you.
[ he's just definitely not going to. and obviously if she is going to bang other dudes, they should probably put on a raincoat, yes??? l o r d. ]
Am I the worst person in the world at this or what?
Oh my God. [ she says again while picking her hand up from her hands, only this time more outspoken. ] Seriously?? [ he's still... inside of her. this is just making it so much more awkward for her. ] You're really doing this, aren't you?
[ she just sits there for a minute, taking it all in. the more she thinks about it, the more annoyed she gets until finally she clenches her teeth together and stands up abruptly, pushing aside any limbs that may have been grabbing at her. ] Of course I'm not seeing anyone else, idiot. No, no--I take that back. I'm the idiot, right? I just go out and sleep with a bunch of men at once without a condom because that's me, drunk and stupid Jessica Jones. [ she scoffs and shakes her head, raging her clothes up into a ball in her arms. boy did this feel familiar. ] And for the record, asshole, the only reason why I'm here, hooking up with the same guy more than once is because I like you, Frank. Yeah, that's right. Fucking ironic, isn't it? I wanted to use you for sex and actually developed feelings for you, how fucked up is that? [ wow, she's really going... to town on this. apparently this is what happens when you confuse and offend the shit out of her. ] So you can imagine how this implying we shouldn't be together and then implying we should back and forth bullshit is really kind of driving me insane.
[ god. she just stands there and stares at him a minute, lips pressed together tight as she stares down at him. this was a mistake, she knows that now. her feelings got the better of her and her judgment. throwing her pile on the couch, she begins to dress herself. ]
[ jesus christ he knows how to fuck things up gOOD. frank looks horrified when she gets up, but lets his hands fall away from her without trying to reach back. he can imagine this isn't pillowtalk she wanted, and he asked in the most awkward way possible, but he did really need to know. and now he's confused again. frank tracks down his boxers with his eyes so he can pull them back on and lean against the couch, not wanting to get in her way though he doesn't intend to let her leave without saying more - it just felt wrong to be naked while she's getting dressed. ]
You're not stupid. [ it's soft, but insistent. he's frustrated that they keep misunderstanding each other and he wishes she had just told him this from the beginning, but maybe she didn't know. he certainly didn't intend to have feelings for her himself beyond friendship, but he's pretty good at the whole unrequited thing. maybe that complacency is what led him to fuck this up so many separate times. ] And I really... am an asshole.
[ so she's got that right. he folds his legs and finds it hard to keep his eyes off her, tracking each sliver of flesh before her clothing covers it again. ]
You told me we couldn't be together. I... I really like you, Jessica. [ enough to terrify him and he doesn't bother covering the expression. ] I didn't mean to imply anything, but that.
Don't-- [ she sounds so inconvenienced by his admittance. ] Don't do that. Don't tell me that.
[ she's so frustrated getting her clothes on is proving to be difficult, so she just kind of stops for the time being. ] I said I shouldn't want this, and you agreed. Said that I shouldn't expect anything from you. And then you keep asking and saying shit that makes me feel otherwise. The most frustrating thing about it all is that it shouldn't matter and I shouldn't care, but... [ she trails of, unsure of what exactly is going on right now. logically, she doesn't want this--shouldn't. maybe that's why she came here, to prove she could still do this, despite it all. but emotionally she's already invested and somehow the idea of being exclusive with him doesn't sound terrible to her, and that brings out an irrational fear in her. so yeah, she shouldn't want it. but for some reason she does, without even knowing how it could. she turns her head briefly, before looking back at him. ] This isn't gonna work, is it?
[ it's only as she goes on that he realizes how severe the communication breakdown really was. he sits up, trying to implore her not to leave with his gaze alone, but when she stops dressing he takes his opportunity to try and keep her there. ]
Why? 'Cause we care? [ frank shakes his head, unwilling to accept that. ] Even if you decide to walk out that door right now, that's not gonna change, Jess.
[ he gets that now- took him long enough. ]
Look, I think you misunderstood me and I just wanna clear the air 'cause... I'm not used to talking about this stuff. I'm bad at it. I was married to the same woman for fourteen years and now she's gone and- I said don't expect anything from me because I don't know what I'm capable of, like this. [ he gestures between the two of them. he hadn't gotten past one night with beth before he got her shot, so. this is seriously new territory for him. ] And I'm... I'm the fuckin' Punisher, alright? I can't make you any promises, not because I don't want to, just 'cause...
[ he might not live through the week? he might get her hurt? all of the above and more. but he's not done talking. ]
You told me not to let you go, though, and I can do that much. [ so please stay. ]
[ she rolls her tongue on the inside of her cheek, annoyed at the accuracy of his first statement. still, regardless of how true it may be, that's what she does. she swallows it all and pretends like it doesn't exist and moves on with her life. because she has to, because it's what best for everyone else.
it isn't until he continues speaking, though, for her to realize how selfish she's being. his words are a slap in her face--a good one, it's a wake up call. even if it's not entirely her fault for not fully understanding him, she feels like she should have known. now she's the one who feels like the biggest asshole. pushing her hair behind her ears she looks down as he talks, taking it all in, really listening to everything he has to say. she owes him that much. ]
I'm... [ she clears her throat, trying to push the words out. ] Clearly not good at this. I'm an asshole and... [ god, what does she even say to all that? her gaze bounces back up to meet his. ] You're fine--it's fine. I understand. [ and maybe that last part is a big of an exaggeration, but she gets it better, at least. understands where all this is coming from. ]
[ he reaches out to try and catch her wrist and drag her back down onto the sofa, a gentle look in his eyes. it doesn't seem "fine" to him, but he's glad he got the chance to say his piece. she hasn't understood him from the beginning and he knows that's his fault, he leaves things out he thinks are obvious or just hard to vocalize. ]
What if we just agree to be assholes that are bad at this - together? [ an almost bright suggestion, some amusement creeping back into his voice. ]
[ she doesn't resist his pull and allows herself to be seated beside him, still not too sure what she's doing. his response earns him a slight smirk from her as she looks over at him. ]
Yeah? You still want to be around my crazy, messy ass?
Edited (I'M SICK AND DELIRIOUS AND CAN'T TYPE) 2019-02-25 19:20 (UTC)
Hold on, let me think about it. [ he pushes in for a kiss, brief but full of emotion, before pulling back to tip his forehead against hers, tongue darting out to chase her taste across his lips. ] Getting warmer.
[ before she can respond, frank's stomach growls loudly. it might be time to finish his dinner now that he's worked back up an appetite. ]
[ she kisses him back briefly before he pulls away, wishing it were longer. just a bit. he gets another smile from her, before shooting him a dramatic scowl. ] Big mistake.
[ when his stomach growls she glances down to where the noise emitted from. ] That's not surprising, considering you barely touched your food. Go finish it. [ she nods towards the kitchen, grabbing her tank top as she pulls it over her head. it's the only other article of clothing she's wearing other than her panties. yeah, her underwear was the only thing she managed to put on in a rage. ] Bathroom?
[ he watches her pull her shirt on before leaning in for another kiss. this one lingers just a bit. he points to the right, the only door in the place besides the front. ]
You're sticking around a while? [ just confirming before he gets up to obey her. he really is hungry, but it's not worth missing her slipping out the door. he doesn't think she would after the understanding they came to, but he still has to doublecheck before losing sight of her. ]
[ standing up she begins walking in the direction he points, calling out to him over her shoulder. ] I don't know, do I need to go pick up condoms? [ it's said in jest, but... if that's still something she's worried about she's more than willing to go. ]
[ frank laughs as he pads off to the kitchen, a self-deprecating edge to it even as he starts loading up a pan for the toaster oven. no big shock mr. old fashioned over here doesn't own a microwave. he doesn't take it as a serious question, so he doesn't answer her, and by the time she meets him in the kitchen he's still in just his boxer briefs eating pasta out of a bowl while leant up against the counter. ]
You want some? [ he offers magnanimously with his mouth full. ]
[ after cleaning up, she steps back out to see him in all his glory while going to town on that bowl of pasta. it's actually... super attractive. ]
I don't know. I wasn't really hungry, but you're really selling it with your half naked in the kitchen look. [ but she leans forward towards him anyway, waiting patiently for a bite. ]
Please. [ she rolls her eyes back at him, mouth full of the bite he had just given her. ] That was a heated discussion, at best.
[ she looks towards the living room thinking about what it was that actually worked up his appetite, taking note of the movie that's still going in the background. she nods towards it after swallowing. ] Good luck trying to watch this movie again without thinking of me. [ she sounds a little too smug about it all. ]
[ he tips his head to the side to concede the point. though it was a 'heated discussion' that could have lost her for another two weeks. frank watches her eat with a dumb smile before ducking his head to look back down into his food. ]
Or I can just put it on when I miss you. [ maybe this was his evil plan all along!!!! ]
[ gross. she turns back to him and gives him a look like she doesn't understand why he would ever do that. don't say sweet things to her!!! ] You don't have to miss me, you can just text me. [ she's so literal in her response because she doesn't know how to answer otherwise. ] Unless you're already thinking about a future without me in it.
[ his grin only gets goofier at that. ] Okay, I will. [ text her, and he likes the idea of just being able to reach out for her instead of waiting in radio silence for her to come back again. frank takes another bite before offering her another. ]
[ she shakes her head with a smile, looking away as her hands reach behind her to rest on the counter. this has to be entertaining for him, trying to get down this wall she has. ] Yeah? And what kind of thoughts are you having about me in the here and now? [ she goes back in for that other bite. ]
[ he's not trying to do anything really, this is just his goofy ass self. but he does find her ridiculously endearing anyway. frank's throat goes a little dry as he focuses on her lips wrapping around the fork in his hand. he didn't realize how intimate this would be beforehand but now he's finding himself enjoying even this silly exercise together. ]
I'm thinkin'... I like it when you smile. [ like, a lot. his own turns soft as he admits: ] And I'm thinkin' about how I'm gonna convince you to stay the night.
[ of course when he says that she smiles, like a big idiot with her mouth full. she didn't know what she was expecting, but she should have known better. this time she waits until she swallows to respond, licking her lips afterwards. ] Let's see... You fed me, you fucked me. What else could you possibly do that would make me want stay anymore than I do now?
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[ he swallows, tasting bile. this is beyond awkward. probably best to just spit it out, if he can manage it. his fingers dig into her back like he's scared of her bailing when she hears it. ]
Is this going to be a... exclusive type thing between us or - I'm not, I told you I didn't expect anything and I meant it, it's just, we haven't used anything the past two times and that's probably my fault for not being prepared and for getting swept up... Not that I think. I mean, I know you're being safe, uh. Otherwise?
[ what the fuck are words right now he is so nervous he wants to die thanks for asking ]
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okay.
excuse the fuck out of her???
her head retracts back and she furrows her brows because... wow she's kind of confused, and offended? can they not have a nice post sex cuddle moment, frank? peeling herself off of him she stares at him with the most unamused fucking expression. ]
First off, holy shit. Second, uhhhh... what the fuck? Third, can you make up your mind on what the hell it is you want this to be? Fourth, because yes, somehow in that one line of questioning you've managed to get this many different responses out of me, why did you not say anything--I don't know, when I put you inside of me? TWICE?
[ now that she's pretty much voiced all her concerns, she starts to feel a little... embarrassed. clearly she wouldn't be letting him cum in her if she wasn't on some type of birth control, but he's not wrong. he has every right to still ask. to still question. it's a valid concern. but if this made him feel uncomfortable... she puts her hands in her face and groans. ] Oh my God...
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[ to say the absolute least. frank chews his lips, wishing he were amy degree of smooth in this arena. ]
On the third thing, I want what you want. [ that isn't strictly true, but it's close and she'll be able to see the sincerity in his gaze as he forces it to steady some, his other hand cupping her throat, his thumb idly stroking at her collar. she can shove him off and away, of course, but there's something like awe in his eyes even still when he looks up at her. ] I think you've gleaned by now I'm kinda old-fashioned. [ it sounds hopelessly self-loathing. ] But if you want to... see other people like this, that's up to you.
[ he's just definitely not going to. and obviously if she is going to bang other dudes, they should probably put on a raincoat, yes??? l o r d. ]
Am I the worst person in the world at this or what?
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[ she just sits there for a minute, taking it all in. the more she thinks about it, the more annoyed she gets until finally she clenches her teeth together and stands up abruptly, pushing aside any limbs that may have been grabbing at her. ] Of course I'm not seeing anyone else, idiot. No, no--I take that back. I'm the idiot, right? I just go out and sleep with a bunch of men at once without a condom because that's me, drunk and stupid Jessica Jones. [ she scoffs and shakes her head, raging her clothes up into a ball in her arms. boy did this feel familiar. ] And for the record, asshole, the only reason why I'm here, hooking up with the same guy more than once is because I like you, Frank. Yeah, that's right. Fucking ironic, isn't it? I wanted to use you for sex and actually developed feelings for you, how fucked up is that? [ wow, she's really going... to town on this. apparently this is what happens when you confuse and offend the shit out of her. ] So you can imagine how this implying we shouldn't be together and then implying we should back and forth bullshit is really kind of driving me insane.
[ god. she just stands there and stares at him a minute, lips pressed together tight as she stares down at him. this was a mistake, she knows that now. her feelings got the better of her and her judgment. throwing her pile on the couch, she begins to dress herself. ]
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You're not stupid. [ it's soft, but insistent. he's frustrated that they keep misunderstanding each other and he wishes she had just told him this from the beginning, but maybe she didn't know. he certainly didn't intend to have feelings for her himself beyond friendship, but he's pretty good at the whole unrequited thing. maybe that complacency is what led him to fuck this up so many separate times. ] And I really... am an asshole.
[ so she's got that right. he folds his legs and finds it hard to keep his eyes off her, tracking each sliver of flesh before her clothing covers it again. ]
You told me we couldn't be together. I... I really like you, Jessica. [ enough to terrify him and he doesn't bother covering the expression. ] I didn't mean to imply anything, but that.
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[ she's so frustrated getting her clothes on is proving to be difficult, so she just kind of stops for the time being. ] I said I shouldn't want this, and you agreed. Said that I shouldn't expect anything from you. And then you keep asking and saying shit that makes me feel otherwise. The most frustrating thing about it all is that it shouldn't matter and I shouldn't care, but... [ she trails of, unsure of what exactly is going on right now. logically, she doesn't want this--shouldn't. maybe that's why she came here, to prove she could still do this, despite it all. but emotionally she's already invested and somehow the idea of being exclusive with him doesn't sound terrible to her, and that brings out an irrational fear in her. so yeah, she shouldn't want it. but for some reason she does, without even knowing how it could. she turns her head briefly, before looking back at him. ] This isn't gonna work, is it?
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Why? 'Cause we care? [ frank shakes his head, unwilling to accept that. ] Even if you decide to walk out that door right now, that's not gonna change, Jess.
[ he gets that now- took him long enough. ]
Look, I think you misunderstood me and I just wanna clear the air 'cause... I'm not used to talking about this stuff. I'm bad at it. I was married to the same woman for fourteen years and now she's gone and- I said don't expect anything from me because I don't know what I'm capable of, like this. [ he gestures between the two of them. he hadn't gotten past one night with beth before he got her shot, so. this is seriously new territory for him. ] And I'm... I'm the fuckin' Punisher, alright? I can't make you any promises, not because I don't want to, just 'cause...
[ he might not live through the week? he might get her hurt? all of the above and more. but he's not done talking. ]
You told me not to let you go, though, and I can do that much. [ so please stay. ]
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it isn't until he continues speaking, though, for her to realize how selfish she's being. his words are a slap in her face--a good one, it's a wake up call. even if it's not entirely her fault for not fully understanding him, she feels like she should have known. now she's the one who feels like the biggest asshole. pushing her hair behind her ears she looks down as he talks, taking it all in, really listening to everything he has to say. she owes him that much. ]
I'm... [ she clears her throat, trying to push the words out. ] Clearly not good at this. I'm an asshole and... [ god, what does she even say to all that? her gaze bounces back up to meet his. ] You're fine--it's fine. I understand. [ and maybe that last part is a big of an exaggeration, but she gets it better, at least. understands where all this is coming from. ]
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What if we just agree to be assholes that are bad at this - together? [ an almost bright suggestion, some amusement creeping back into his voice. ]
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Yeah? You still want to be around my crazy, messy ass?
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[ before she can respond, frank's stomach growls loudly. it might be time to finish his dinner now that he's worked back up an appetite. ]
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[ when his stomach growls she glances down to where the noise emitted from. ] That's not surprising, considering you barely touched your food. Go finish it. [ she nods towards the kitchen, grabbing her tank top as she pulls it over her head. it's the only other article of clothing she's wearing other than her panties. yeah, her underwear was the only thing she managed to put on in a rage. ] Bathroom?
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You're sticking around a while? [ just confirming before he gets up to obey her. he really is hungry, but it's not worth missing her slipping out the door. he doesn't think she would after the understanding they came to, but he still has to doublecheck before losing sight of her. ]
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You want some? [ he offers magnanimously with his mouth full. ]
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I don't know. I wasn't really hungry, but you're really selling it with your half naked in the kitchen look. [ but she leans forward towards him anyway, waiting patiently for a bite. ]
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Arguments make me hungry. [ to say nothing of the calories they burned before. ]
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[ she looks towards the living room thinking about what it was that actually worked up his appetite, taking note of the movie that's still going in the background. she nods towards it after swallowing. ] Good luck trying to watch this movie again without thinking of me. [ she sounds a little too smug about it all. ]
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Or I can just put it on when I miss you. [ maybe this was his evil plan all along!!!! ]
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[ she leans back forward to his bowl. ]
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I'd rather think about you bein' here right now.
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I'm thinkin'... I like it when you smile. [ like, a lot. his own turns soft as he admits: ] And I'm thinkin' about how I'm gonna convince you to stay the night.
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