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๐ธ๐ล๐ฝฮ๐ แต ย ๐๐
๐๐ป. ๐๐ช๐๐ธ๐ป๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ (๐ฒ๐ซ;๐๐๐๐๐๐) ๐๐๐๐๐๐ (๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐) ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ (๐ฐ๐๐ฃ๐ข ๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ข ๐ค๐๐ฏ๐๐ค๐ข) ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ (๐ฆ๐ซ๐ฑ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ฏ) ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ : โโโโ | ๐๐๐๐๐๐ : โโโโ | ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐) ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (๐ญ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ซ, ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ , ๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐๐ฉ)
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I KNEW YOU HAD DAD JOKES. YOU'RE SUCH A DORK!!! <333
[Then the rest of it comes. At first she looks at him curiously. That's a weird joke. Why would he want to be compared to a crazy person with a gun?? But, it hits her that it isn't a joke. He really is Frank Castle. He's the crazy person with the gun. It's a lot to digest.
For once she spares him a play by play of her every thought. She crosses her arms over her chest while stopping to really process what that means. Automatically it makes sense why he played coy about his name. He's infamous. Everyone is afraid of him on some level, she thinks. Even if you agree with what he does, no one wants a guy running around deciding who lives or dies on a whim seemingly.
On the other hand, she pays attention even if it's not all that noticeable to an outsider. What has he done here? He took care of children, taught them to protect themselves, and fed his community. He sided with a woman against a complete psycho and feels anger at the way others blamed her for a man's sins. He swears up and down he'll protect them and she absolutely believes that in her heart. She even thinks that her powers won't mean anything in the end really. He'll still try to save her even after getting an idea of just how much she can take. Her appraisal of him here hasn't changed even knowing his name. He's selfless and heroic as far as she's concerned so what does that mean? Was everyone back home wrong about him?
It all starts to make sense in a weird way. The only thing anyone agrees about is that his family was killed in front of him. After that, he started killing murderers, rapists, and everything in between. The rest is all that's really up for debate. The rest leaves room him to still be exactly who she thinks he is.
She thinks back to the day she met Bruno and what her mother said about how she had no right to look down on him because she had no idea how he struggled. That had been true. She'd never know what it's like to be abandoned and neglected in favor of a fix. She's been blessed her whole life.
It's easy to judge when your family is alive back home and waiting for you. Who would she be in his position? What would people say about the way she chose to live with it? She finally replies on her device.]
I won't tell anyone. [She waits for him to read that before setting it aside and moving in for a hug. She can type out she's sorry for what he's been through until her fingers go numb, but this probably means more. She hopes it means more because she truly is sorry about what he's been through with Kilgrave and his family. A person who still tries to help others even after all that happened to them truly deserves better.]
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he's numb as he stares down at the porch, remembering jessica killing kilgrave, remembering drinking moonshine with her right here. kamala must hate him now, she'd be right not to want to be around him. but at least she knows now and can make her own informed decision. frank never sees her screen, about to get up and go -- somewhere; anywhere else. there's the light from it but then she sets it down without him ever seeing the words. he never gets the chance to get up though either because her arms are around him even though she should be frightened now. she should hate him.
deep confusion burns his eyelids, making it hard for him to keep them open. but there's no hesitation in the way his huge hand encircles her tiny forearm, and he leans his head against her shoulder to soak up a fraction of what's being offered here. he's too selfish not to accept, but as ever that's set aside to be analyzed at another time.
it's hard to say how long they remain that way, and in characteristic fashion he puts the onus on the other person to pull away. he's always willing to soak up someone else's warmth and to pretend for even a moment that he isn't alone. fatally, mortally alone for the rest of his time alive. which already seemed like far too long before he came to a place of impermanent death. ]
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Kamala pulls back with a reassuring smile, wiping her eyes because of course she cried. She's always getting emotional about stuff. The implications of his situation had some time to hit her while she was hugging him. She thinks back to all her talks with Will. They were right about him being a dad. It was the children part of the equation they got wrong. It makes her heart hurt even more for Frank. She should probably give Will a head's up if she can. That's a thought for a later time.
For now, she tries to catch his eyes so she can point at him and flash that okay sign he loves so much. It's kind of an awkward way of asking if he's okay, but give her a break. She didn't learn sign language back home.]
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I don't want to bum you out more, but are you really sure this is over? I need to know. I can't just ignore it if some crazy person is taking the people I care about prisoner again. Like it or not, we're friends now. We protect each other. We save each other. No arguments.
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jess can't tell me any more of the plan but she says it will be over soon
i have to trust her
[ and he does, it's etched plainly into the lines of his face. he's banking everything on one woman, which he knows is a lot of pressure. he knows it wasn't ever her responsibility in the first place and he hates that it's fallen to her again here. his head falls from the weight of it all, and it hangs from his throat like an albatross. he's never been so miserable or felt so hopeless in his life. at least not after the massacre day. that's about the only thing that could compare to this deep pit of total and complete self-loathing. ]
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She's had a taste of that powerlessness before. Once again she's compelled to help since knows it can't even compare. Once again she notes her privilege. Everything has always had a happy ending where Kamala is concerned. Sure things get real and scary, but the credits roll on a cute scene. No one ever dies; nothing is ever truly lost. Frank knows exactly what it's like to lose big while knowing there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Kamala reaches out to touch his shoulder and gently squeezes until it's time to at least to share some worthwhile advice to her for whatever it is worth to Frank.]
One thing I learned the hard way because of who I am now is that you can't do everything alone. It's okay to depend on her because someday she'll depend on you. That's part of being a community. We can't survive alone and that's okay. We just have to be ready when it's our turn to take on more of the weight than everyone else.
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her words hurt going down, like bitter medicine, but he reads every word that comes up on his screen though they're close enough now he could read hers instead. it gives him a reason not to cry again, though the sentiment behind the text isn't any less depressing. ]
i know. i'm ready.
[ that's all he does now is wait for jessica's call to action. he knows it isn't healthy or even what he should be doing, but he needs to be there at the end. he needs to see that bastard finally fall to his knees. his free hand clenches on his knee, belying his anger and frustration as well as the vein practically bulging from his throat. this is bullshit. and he hates that kamala is stuck sharing oxygen with that sick piece of shit. ]
i said things to her. fucked up things.
[ that he blamed her. that all of this was because of her. he wishes he could take it all back; that he could make up for it somehow. but he knows she's used to bearing the brunt of kilgrave's fallout. that isn't fair either. he wants to shoulder it all for her, has since the moment he saw her crush that dickhead's windpipe the second night here. his face contorts into an angry grimace without him noticing, lips twitching with the effort not to snarl. he hates kevin thompson as much as william rawlins or billy russo. they can all share a mass grave for all he fucking cares. ]
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But, not because you wanted to, right? It's not your fault if he made you do things you didn't want to do. And it's okay if you're really angry about it and need to punch something. Isn't that the point of that club we're not allowed to talk about? To get that anger out?
cw death & suicide mentions.
[ he wanted to do all of it until the second kilgrave died. he had been moments away from killing himself when he'd been released. frank castle didn't give up. frank castle didn't pick fights he couldn't win. this place has made him question a lot about himself, and the microscope isn't turning up the results he'd wanted. she's right, though, he needs to find something else to occupy his time. even if it's just busy...ness. belatedly, he nods. ]
are you gonna make it back? [ to fight club. right now, he's not sure he feels up to being mr. miyagi. but he would give it a shot for her. ]
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She nods at her question, shaking off that sick feeling as best she can.] Yeah. I want to be ready. I know I call this place a horror movie like it's a joke, but it kind of isn't. I really should be ready for things to get worse.
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lesson #1 first thing in the am?
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