𝒸𝕆Ň𝓽Δ𝔠ᵗ 👌😈

[oorah]

𝓜𝓻. 𝓜𝓪𝔂𝓸𝓻

𝖙𝖊𝖝𝖙, 𝖛𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖔 (𝔲𝔫;𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖉𝖔𝖌)

𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 (𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖆𝖋𝖊 𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖊)

𝖋𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖈𝖑𝖚𝖇 𝖛𝖕 (𝔰𝔞𝔣𝔢 𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔤𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔢)

𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊𝕮𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖔𝕶𝖔𝖚𝖙 (𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔯)

𝖔𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖕𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 (𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖕𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖍 : ₁₀₋₃ | 𝖕𝖆𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖑 : ₁₁₋₇ | 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖕)

𝖛𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖗 (𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔬𝔫, 𝔠𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔠, 𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔞𝔩)

Comments

[morphogenia]

[She holds on for much longer than she needs to. While she's so tiny in comparison, fragile looking with her head pressed against his giant frame, Kamala can't help thinking he's at least safe right now. Doesn't he deserve that? She knows eventually she does have to let go before this borders on weird. There's only so long you can comfort a grown man without your words even after realizing he lost a family and recently suffered at the hands of a monster.

Kamala pulls back with a reassuring smile, wiping her eyes because of course she cried. She's always getting emotional about stuff. The implications of his situation had some time to hit her while she was hugging him. She thinks back to all her talks with Will. They were right about him being a dad. It was the children part of the equation they got wrong. It makes her heart hurt even more for Frank. She should probably give Will a head's up if she can. That's a thought for a later time.

For now, she tries to catch his eyes so she can point at him and flash that okay sign he loves so much. It's kind of an awkward way of asking if he's okay, but give her a break. She didn't learn sign language back home.]

[oorah]

[ when she finally pulls away, his eyes are tellingly wet too. he's able to smile when she turns his famous OK symbol on him. he holds up his hand into one as well, a tear spilling free at roughly the same time. which means something like i'm okay but also emotional. which is about the best one could hope for from frank on any given day anyway. ]

[morphogenia]

[Kamala takes his hand once she catches he's still at it. The device is coming out again since there is something she needs to go back to. She can get all caught up in what she thinks is important too often, but she does listen as best she can. She can't leave his side of things alone forever.]

I don't want to bum you out more, but are you really sure this is over? I need to know. I can't just ignore it if some crazy person is taking the people I care about prisoner again. Like it or not, we're friends now. We protect each other. We save each other. No arguments.

[oorah]

[ no arguments. he takes in a nearly silent, but sharp breath, reluctantly wresting his hand free of hers to grab for his device. he's not sure of anything except one: jessica jones is going to save this place. again. she'll never get the credit she deserves, but he knows she doesn't care about that. ]

jess can't tell me any more of the plan but she says it will be over soon
i have to trust her

[ and he does, it's etched plainly into the lines of his face. he's banking everything on one woman, which he knows is a lot of pressure. he knows it wasn't ever her responsibility in the first place and he hates that it's fallen to her again here. his head falls from the weight of it all, and it hangs from his throat like an albatross. he's never been so miserable or felt so hopeless in his life. at least not after the massacre day. that's about the only thing that could compare to this deep pit of total and complete self-loathing. ]

[morphogenia]

[That's enough for her. Even if her brain wasn't stuffed with superhero trivia, Kamala knows that she trusts Frank. His actions have clearly proven he's on the right side of things. Anyone he puts faith must be as well by extension. She sees the way this is weighing on him. Now that she knows who he is it takes on a whole new meaning. It's a well known fact that despite being a super tough soldier guy, he couldn't save his family. She has to wonder how he feels now knowing that their protection depends on someone else and not him.

She's had a taste of that powerlessness before. Once again she's compelled to help since knows it can't even compare. Once again she notes her privilege. Everything has always had a happy ending where Kamala is concerned. Sure things get real and scary, but the credits roll on a cute scene. No one ever dies; nothing is ever truly lost. Frank knows exactly what it's like to lose big while knowing there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Kamala reaches out to touch his shoulder and gently squeezes until it's time to at least to share some worthwhile advice to her for whatever it is worth to Frank.]

One thing I learned the hard way because of who I am now is that you can't do everything alone. It's okay to depend on her because someday she'll depend on you. That's part of being a community. We can't survive alone and that's okay. We just have to be ready when it's our turn to take on more of the weight than everyone else.

[oorah]

[ the touch grounds him and he turns his wet gaze on her once more, swallowing as he unknowingly echoes her thoughts. he had wanted to save everyone, but he's useless against a foe like kilgrave. one he can't hit, and more importantly, one he can't kill. that son of a bitch will keep coming back, and he's not going to let himself be taken again. not with all these kids relying on him. jessica was right, he should have stayed away from them. but he couldn't, not when they're all alone here. somehow, he thinks kamala understands that.

her words hurt going down, like bitter medicine, but he reads every word that comes up on his screen though they're close enough now he could read hers instead. it gives him a reason not to cry again, though the sentiment behind the text isn't any less depressing. ]

i know. i'm ready.

[ that's all he does now is wait for jessica's call to action. he knows it isn't healthy or even what he should be doing, but he needs to be there at the end. he needs to see that bastard finally fall to his knees. his free hand clenches on his knee, belying his anger and frustration as well as the vein practically bulging from his throat. this is bullshit. and he hates that kamala is stuck sharing oxygen with that sick piece of shit. ]

i said things to her. fucked up things.

[ that he blamed her. that all of this was because of her. he wishes he could take it all back; that he could make up for it somehow. but he knows she's used to bearing the brunt of kilgrave's fallout. that isn't fair either. he wants to shoulder it all for her, has since the moment he saw her crush that dickhead's windpipe the second night here. his face contorts into an angry grimace without him noticing, lips twitching with the effort not to snarl. he hates kevin thompson as much as william rawlins or billy russo. they can all share a mass grave for all he fucking cares. ]

[morphogenia]

[Kamala eyes light up with sympathy. She sees all that rage and frustration and wishes they could all just scream. It isn't fair that they have to deal with a scary monster like this while already being stuck in a weird world filled with other scary monsters. It can't be helped which annoys her endlessly. She wishes she could say something else to reassure him, but she's got nothing. It just isn't fair. That's the reality of it. Jessica Jones has to be the hero while the rest of them just try not to get in her way.]

But, not because you wanted to, right? It's not your fault if he made you do things you didn't want to do. And it's okay if you're really angry about it and need to punch something. Isn't that the point of that club we're not allowed to talk about? To get that anger out?

cw death & suicide mentions.

[oorah]

i DID want to. that's how it works.

[ he wanted to do all of it until the second kilgrave died. he had been moments away from killing himself when he'd been released. frank castle didn't give up. frank castle didn't pick fights he couldn't win. this place has made him question a lot about himself, and the microscope isn't turning up the results he'd wanted. she's right, though, he needs to find something else to occupy his time. even if it's just busy...ness. belatedly, he nods. ]

are you gonna make it back? [ to fight club. right now, he's not sure he feels up to being mr. miyagi. but he would give it a shot for her. ]

[morphogenia]

[Kamala doesn't have advice for that. She lets the disgust and horror that comes from knowing you can control someone's feelings like that play out plainly on her face. She really is going to hurt Kilgrave if she ever sees him. What a vile thing to do to someone.

She nods at her question, shaking off that sick feeling as best she can.] Yeah. I want to be ready. I know I call this place a horror movie like it's a joke, but it kind of isn't. I really should be ready for things to get worse.

[oorah]

[ no, it isn't a joke. but when he recalls the awful faces and bodies of the sound eaters, kilgrave is still worse. frank abruptly gets up, his boots making no sound even as he plants one foot under himself and pushes up into standing. he looks down at her, his expression soft, but starting to close off again. if he stays out here any longer he'll break again, or he'll just pass out. he may as well do the latter in david's room. ]

lesson #1 first thing in the am?

[morphogenia]

[Kamala stares up at Frank. She wonders if she's made things better or worse for him. It is nice they are together again no matter what. She really has missed him. She nods at the question, flashing him the okay sign in response. The best version of Kamala has the power to save herself. This is needed. Maybe keeping him busy at any point of the day will be good for him.]

[oorah]

[ he flashes the OK back at her as well as a pitiful smile, more a of a wan pull of lips than anything. and then he's turning around and heading inside to crash. he'd missed her, hopefully he'll be more fun tomorrow. ]

[morphogenia]

[She does her best to smile back at him before watching Frank go. Kamala sits for a while to process and maybe cry a little... or a lot as quietly as she can before going inside. Her skin is still crawling at the thought of what Frank and whoever else has gone through, but it isn't her fight. At least she has a path to get ready for her turn.]