[ What little energy she has would be squandered in an attempt to voice her utter resignation. Jess measures his sincerity over a beat, searching him for disappointment. She doesn't see any and he's not that good at hiding how he feels, not around her. No lies. Except the omitted sort, of which she's exorbitantly guilty herself. ]
I can't think like that. [ And she wants to. She wants to be in a place where she can think about what she would be like and what she would do if she were to ever go home, without it completely overwhelming her. That's not here. Doubtful she'll find it anywhere, as far as she goes. She never gave up like that before Reims. Taking that person back doesn't sound worth it.
Jess can barely hang her head without knocking into his. Trying only brings them closer again. She withdraws her hand, breaking eye contact to focus on her fingertips playing reservedly along his jaw. ] I'm sorry. [ A dry swallow. ]
[ it hurts. to say it doesn't would be a lie. but the pain isn't for himself, and when their foreheads brush he relishes in being close again; in leaving the world behind. their own, and reims both - it's just them in this tent with the rain sheltering them for however long. the time doesn't matter, but it feels boundless anyway. she's barely through the apology when he smashes his lips into hers, as if erasing the words by force. she never has anything to apologize to him for, and there's nothing subtle in his movements now, blunt nails dragging back down her side until he can dig into her hip, his leg winding around hers with absolutely no coyness as it brings their pelvises flush.
his breast heaves against hers as he's breathless in moments from the hard kiss, but he draws it out for as long as he can, eyes squeezed shut as he feels every plane of her body against his acutely now, one large hand cupping the back of her head firmly. it isn't like him to take something he wants in this context, at least not with such confidence, but the second he felt her waver he knew he had to act; ever her foil. because when she inevitably takes charge again, he'll fade away and submit to her, but now in this moment he knows they both need a buoy to anchor to. ]
[ Jess takes him in without hesitation, accepting his denial that she requires forgiveness. Agree to disagree, for now. Time is on her side in that one regard. She would rather push herself to be present, to surround herself with him and let his fervor of devotion consume her and her every thought.
Her mouth opened in a shudder. A good one, and to make sure he knows, she coils the hair at the back of his neck tightly through her fingers as she kisses him feverishly. Everywhere he touches her, gently crushes her, spurs her blood to rush faster and hotter, spilling over her nerves and leaving them softly burned, fucking aching. Jess falls to her back with him secure to her chest, legs slotted between his. She easily lifts her hips from the bedroll even with him settled on top of them, daring him to infer weakness. ]
[ his breath hitches, a pitchy sigh carried over as she pulls him over her, easily hefting his bulk when he's too slow to get with the program. the kiss is unsustainable for him at this angle and he pulls back in a struggle for oxygen even as all of their other points of contact deepen. he tries desperately to catch his breath, but with her fingers tugging insistently at his scalp and her hips slotting up into his, it's a losing battle even if it's hard-fought. frank nips at her lower lip in lieu of anything true, his body already coming alive again with that simple unspoken command. not that he would mind a spoken version now, but maybe she feels she's bossed him around enough, and it would only make him long for things he can't have anyway. something gratuitously loud just for the sake of it stashed somewhere in his arousal-fueled mind.
he doesn't hesitate now as hot hands ignite along her skin, pushing her shirt up and out of the way so his palms can learn the shape and fill of her breasts. his crooked nose slots against hers, breathing solely through the conduit of their mouths as he rolls his hips once, deeply, and gives her the benefit of another pathetic, held-back noise. he doesn't need any more than this, but knowing he's going to get it is overwhelming, still unsure if he can follow through on even the most rudimentary of physical imperatives. but he'll die trying, if that's what it takes, because it's what jess wants; and that's always been the way they operate. ]
[ Jess props herself up on her elbows as her shirt is shoved over her chest, then thumping onto her back and lifts her arms above her head until it's gone. She loops them loosely around his head, nuzzling at his face, reigning in a whimper at the edge of her lips as he grinds in against her. Their breath breaks over their skin, pools in the empty space between their throats. A shiver wracks Jess, a perfect pattern of little bumps rising to the surface of her exposed flesh. Stupid, since Jess doesn't feel cold and doesn't want him to worry or slow down.
The noose of her arms unravels, hands sliding under his arms and up his back. The ripples of hard muscle padded with scar tissue smooth away the goosebumps, or he's so goddamn hot it feels that way. She digs her nails in under his shoulder blade, nose dragging along his brow as she tips her head back and offers her throat to him. ]
[ her shiver doesn't worry him, but it is catching, a shudder of his own wracking his frame on an exhale as jess pulls him in close. for as much as he protested this, being with her like this means he doesn't have to think. only actions matter at this moment and it couldn't be more liberating. strong arms coil around her, keeping her as warm as he can as he memorizes the way their bodies fit.
when she digs her nails in, he opens his mouth in a sharp gasp, finding her pulse with his lips only seconds after she offers herself forward. his teeth scrape shallowly along her throat before chasing away the abrasion with more soft kisses, his embrace becoming nearly crushing - or it would be for anyone else. both his legs wind around one of her thighs, pushing his nose up until he can tug at her earlobe with his teeth next, huffing a gentle breath across the sensitive organ. everything about his touch is slow and heavy, laced with deliberate action as he tries to calm her urgency and draw this out as much as he's physically capable of. ]
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I can't think like that. [ And she wants to. She wants to be in a place where she can think about what she would be like and what she would do if she were to ever go home, without it completely overwhelming her. That's not here. Doubtful she'll find it anywhere, as far as she goes. She never gave up like that before Reims. Taking that person back doesn't sound worth it.
Jess can barely hang her head without knocking into his. Trying only brings them closer again. She withdraws her hand, breaking eye contact to focus on her fingertips playing reservedly along his jaw. ] I'm sorry. [ A dry swallow. ]
no subject
his breast heaves against hers as he's breathless in moments from the hard kiss, but he draws it out for as long as he can, eyes squeezed shut as he feels every plane of her body against his acutely now, one large hand cupping the back of her head firmly. it isn't like him to take something he wants in this context, at least not with such confidence, but the second he felt her waver he knew he had to act; ever her foil. because when she inevitably takes charge again, he'll fade away and submit to her, but now in this moment he knows they both need a buoy to anchor to. ]
no subject
Her mouth opened in a shudder. A good one, and to make sure he knows, she coils the hair at the back of his neck tightly through her fingers as she kisses him feverishly. Everywhere he touches her, gently crushes her, spurs her blood to rush faster and hotter, spilling over her nerves and leaving them softly burned, fucking aching. Jess falls to her back with him secure to her chest, legs slotted between his. She easily lifts her hips from the bedroll even with him settled on top of them, daring him to infer weakness. ]
no subject
he doesn't hesitate now as hot hands ignite along her skin, pushing her shirt up and out of the way so his palms can learn the shape and fill of her breasts. his crooked nose slots against hers, breathing solely through the conduit of their mouths as he rolls his hips once, deeply, and gives her the benefit of another pathetic, held-back noise. he doesn't need any more than this, but knowing he's going to get it is overwhelming, still unsure if he can follow through on even the most rudimentary of physical imperatives. but he'll die trying, if that's what it takes, because it's what jess wants; and that's always been the way they operate. ]
no subject
The noose of her arms unravels, hands sliding under his arms and up his back. The ripples of hard muscle padded with scar tissue smooth away the goosebumps, or he's so goddamn hot it feels that way. She digs her nails in under his shoulder blade, nose dragging along his brow as she tips her head back and offers her throat to him. ]
no subject
when she digs her nails in, he opens his mouth in a sharp gasp, finding her pulse with his lips only seconds after she offers herself forward. his teeth scrape shallowly along her throat before chasing away the abrasion with more soft kisses, his embrace becoming nearly crushing - or it would be for anyone else. both his legs wind around one of her thighs, pushing his nose up until he can tug at her earlobe with his teeth next, huffing a gentle breath across the sensitive organ. everything about his touch is slow and heavy, laced with deliberate action as he tries to calm her urgency and draw this out as much as he's physically capable of. ]