Uhhh. [ he starts just as dumbly, trying to determine if she's serious. calloused fingers draw an idle pattern against her arm as he releases a near-silent but fully-contented sigh. ] Do you really want me to answer that?
[ he's not sure he can and beyond that, she probably wouldn't like his answer if he tried. he's not naive enough to think otherwise. ]
[ she wants to say 'no' and move on from the topic entirely. she should, but she doesn't. instead, her eyes scan his chest now and after a moment of silence, she continues. ]
[ it earns a dry chuckle as he nudges his crooked nose against her cheek, starting to turn in towards jess a little in anticipation of the nap he's considering. but that question is near nonsense for him. ]
This? [ he's not sure what she could be referring to, at least not in context. and out... ] I don't do "this."
[ that gets a more hearty laugh as he curls in against her side fully now, one leg folding over hers and one heavy arm snaking across her tummy, calloused fingers pushing softly back and forth just below her bellybutton. ]
Touché. [ he concedes, his deep voice rumbling against her ear. ] I did this, but I don't do this.
[ do you feel him???? he doesn't sound torn up about it either way though. ]
I guess I do this with you. [ frank amends, slightly soberer even as his eyelashes flutter against her pulse. he looks disgustingly comfortable. ]
[ another tease, as she rolls onto her back to accommodate the shift of his body against hers, letting a free hand rest above her head. her eyes look at the ceiling now and she swallows. ]
I don't do this. I mean, I do, obviously, but. [ there's a small pause as her other free hand comes to trickle her fingertips over his hand, shaking her head slightly before she continues. ] Not like this.
I dunno. Do you? [ he challenges lightly. he still has no idea until she says what's next though, brow furrowing against her skin though he's too embedded to lift his head. the tickle of her fingertips against the back of his hand has superficial shivers climbing his spine and he thinks he could fall asleep just like this, for a while anyway. just a few minutes. ] ...Now I feel special.
[ his heart picks up a little though he's still lethargic, nearly boneless against her really. he's afraid to dig deeper into her statement so he tries to just rest, but now he feels nerves fluttering under his skin, tying his tummy in knots. it's a mix of pleasant and un-. what is she saying, exactly? ]
That's the problem, Frank. [ her head turns to where shes facing him now, eyes bouncing back and forth over his features. her hand moves from his hand up his arm until she's brushing the back of her fingers against his cheek. ] I'm not supposed to feel special, and neither are you. That's not really how these things are supposed to work.
[ everything that comes out of her mouth sounds combative to whats happening, but her heart is racing, especially now that her eyes are on his. ]
[ his head slides back a little so he doesn't have to cross his eyes to meet hers, but then he almost regrets it for as vulnerable as she looks. did he do something wrong...? ]
I thought this was what you wanted. [ sex, he means. he really is thick sometimes, but especially after all that - if she expects him to be thinking his clearest she's got another thing coming. ] I'm not... I don't expect anything here.
[ though he'd very much like to do that again, and this right now is nice. ]
Yeah. [ ultimately, he was right. this is what she wanted, but. when he says it, his answer is the reaffirmation she needs to shove her feelings away again. you know, because that's how she deals with things.
she doesn't even realize it but there's a sad expression on her face. but it's fine. everything is fine.
she turns her head back to where she's staring at the ceiling again. she should probably go then, right?? god, this was stupid. she was stupid. she clears her throat, bouncing her fingers against his arm a few times. ] I'm gonna go.
[ frank doesn't like that sad look, not at all. though it's not surprising, her announcement has his own features falling. but he nods shallowly, leaning in to press his lips against hers one final time, fingers digging into her hip lightly before he unwinds and lets her disengage as he pushes himself with a pained grunt to sit up. ]
[ jesus christ, she thinks to herself, listening to him get up. she really is a piece of shit. let's just use his body when he's halfway dead. sounds like a great fucking plan, jess.
her hands rub her forehead briefly as she gets up with ease. like, she should probably clean herself up but all she wants to do right now is get out as quick as possible. ]
No, it's fine.
[ she starts to pick up her clothes piece by piece, putting them on one at a time. ]
[ well, whether she lets him or not, he's getting up anyway now. there's no way he's laying in this bed alone. he wrinkles his nose at the bloody sheet but just covers it with his quilt so she hopefully won't see it as he checks out his side stealthily. it doesn't seem to be actively bleeding or anything so that's good, standing is hard but he's used to it. he hooks his foot in the band of his boxer shorts and kicks them up so he can catch them in his hands and pull them on. his jeans are by hers and he gestures a bit helplessly for her to grab them...? if that's cool. ]
Is, uh... [ he holds his pants in his hands when she gives them over, looking at her curiously. maybe he should just leave it. ] Can I text you again sometime?
[ he feels dumb, but elated all at once, like he's back in high school again or some shit. ]
Edited (pronouns and articles: my nemeses) 2019-02-12 20:12 (UTC)
[ sure, frank. just kick her while she's down and feeling bad about it. she quickly grabs it and hands it over to him while picking up and putting on her own pants. she's trying to be quick about it but not... quick enough to give any indication she was in a huge rush. but he could probably tell, regardless. ]
Yeah, sure. I guess. [ she doesn't know. she shakes her head, fingers running through her messy hair while she looks for the rest of her clothes. she spots her panties, and takes note of her pants she already put on. cool. god, she's a fucking mess. she quickly snatches them up and goes for her bra that's laying right next to it, and then her shirt after that.
leaning down by the bed, she grabs her socks before moving to sit on the edge of it to put them on, one by one. boots and coat and then she can be done. ]
You got my jacket? [ she avoids eye contact now, heading for her boots. ]
[ so he's walking her >( frank hovers in the doorway while she finishes, forgetting to put on his shirt, or maybe he just doesn't want to risk bending over right now. either way. he chews his lip and finally just comes out with it. ]
[ he points her to the direction of her jacket and she moves over towards it until he questions her. it stops her in her place and she sighs and rolls her head to the side as she gives him a defeated look. ]
Look, please just... [ move? don't ask about it? she doesn't know--theme of the night. there's a heavy sigh and then she swallows whatever kind of pity and self hatred she has for herself right now. ] I have to go.
[ her jaw clenches together and she looks down, swiftly putting her falling hair behind her ear. it's an honest and relevant question, but she doesn't know where she stands on that subject right now. ]
[ she stares at him a lot longer than she should, thinking of what to say. she could step forward, get real close and challenge him on that. but it all sounds so pathetic--SHE feels pathetic, worse than her normal pathetic she feels on a daily basis. and what's worse is that now she's got him feeling pretty bad about it all. ]
That was before. I didn't think-- [ she catches herself quickly, obviously looking flustered now. ] I'm sorry, okay? I ruin shit. It's what I do. And now I've dragged you into it and... [ a redundant sigh. ] I'm sorry.
[ he should have just let it go, back at the bar. ]
[ another parrot of her, this one mostly unintentional. he just wants to know why she's upset - so he can fix it, but maybe that's not his place. ]
Just... if you wanted to do this again. Or get an actual drink again... [ he tips his head. it's not like his social calendar is teeming with activity, okay? that's all. ] I enjoyed this. [ a beat, ] And that.
[ she thinks about hugging him, like it's the least she can do, but all she can offer is the slightest of nods in return.
she picks up her boots and moves out of the room to slide herself into them, one at a time. after she grabs and puts on her jacket she pauses with her hand on the door knob. nothing comes of it, apparently, because soon after the sound of the door opening up and closing is heard.
she's already pulling out her phone to request a ride and then immediately looks up the nearest convenience store. ]
[ she can probably hear his loud sigh as the door shuts, he doesn't watch her go instead heading back to the kitchen to drink the rest of that coffee. it should be good and ice cold by now. ]
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[ he's not sure he can and beyond that, she probably wouldn't like his answer if he tried. he's not naive enough to think otherwise. ]
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Is this how it always is, with you?
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This? [ he's not sure what she could be referring to, at least not in context. and out... ] I don't do "this."
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I think you just did.
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Touché. [ he concedes, his deep voice rumbling against her ear. ] I did this, but I don't do this.
[ do you feel him???? he doesn't sound torn up about it either way though. ]
I guess I do this with you. [ frank amends, slightly soberer even as his eyelashes flutter against her pulse. he looks disgustingly comfortable. ]
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[ another tease, as she rolls onto her back to accommodate the shift of his body against hers, letting a free hand rest above her head. her eyes look at the ceiling now and she swallows. ]
I don't do this. I mean, I do, obviously, but. [ there's a small pause as her other free hand comes to trickle her fingertips over his hand, shaking her head slightly before she continues. ] Not like this.
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[ his heart picks up a little though he's still lethargic, nearly boneless against her really. he's afraid to dig deeper into her statement so he tries to just rest, but now he feels nerves fluttering under his skin, tying his tummy in knots. it's a mix of pleasant and un-. what is she saying, exactly? ]
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[ everything that comes out of her mouth sounds combative to whats happening, but her heart is racing, especially now that her eyes are on his. ]
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I thought this was what you wanted. [ sex, he means. he really is thick sometimes, but especially after all that - if she expects him to be thinking his clearest she's got another thing coming. ] I'm not... I don't expect anything here.
[ though he'd very much like to do that again, and this right now is nice. ]
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she doesn't even realize it but there's a sad expression on her face. but it's fine. everything is fine.
she turns her head back to where she's staring at the ceiling again. she should probably go then, right?? god, this was stupid. she was stupid. she clears her throat, bouncing her fingers against his arm a few times. ] I'm gonna go.
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Let me walk you out.
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her hands rub her forehead briefly as she gets up with ease. like, she should probably clean herself up but all she wants to do right now is get out as quick as possible. ]
No, it's fine.
[ she starts to pick up her clothes piece by piece, putting them on one at a time. ]
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Is, uh... [ he holds his pants in his hands when she gives them over, looking at her curiously. maybe he should just leave it. ] Can I text you again sometime?
[ he feels dumb, but elated all at once, like he's back in high school again or some shit. ]
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Yeah, sure. I guess. [ she doesn't know. she shakes her head, fingers running through her messy hair while she looks for the rest of her clothes. she spots her panties, and takes note of her pants she already put on. cool. god, she's a fucking mess. she quickly snatches them up and goes for her bra that's laying right next to it, and then her shirt after that.
leaning down by the bed, she grabs her socks before moving to sit on the edge of it to put them on, one by one. boots and coat and then she can be done. ]
You got my jacket? [ she avoids eye contact now, heading for her boots. ]
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[ so he's walking her >( frank hovers in the doorway while she finishes, forgetting to put on his shirt, or maybe he just doesn't want to risk bending over right now. either way. he chews his lip and finally just comes out with it. ]
Did I do something wrong?
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Look, please just... [ move? don't ask about it? she doesn't know--theme of the night. there's a heavy sigh and then she swallows whatever kind of pity and self hatred she has for herself right now. ] I have to go.
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[ but it's really not. he puts his hand out a minute though she could easily duck him or push him aside. ]
Are we still... friends? [ she's the one who said it, right? did he wreck this already while trying desperately to do the opposite? ]
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Is this friendship to you?
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It could be. [ if that's what she wants. ] It's what you said to me at the bar. That friendship didn't have to be one-sided... with you.
[ he's the most annoying man in the world. he's attentive and listens, then remembers what he listened to. is he even human? ]
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That was before. I didn't think-- [ she catches herself quickly, obviously looking flustered now. ] I'm sorry, okay? I ruin shit. It's what I do. And now I've dragged you into it and... [ a redundant sigh. ] I'm sorry.
[ he should have just let it go, back at the bar. ]
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[ another parrot of her, this one mostly unintentional. he just wants to know why she's upset - so he can fix it, but maybe that's not his place. ]
Just... if you wanted to do this again. Or get an actual drink again... [ he tips his head. it's not like his social calendar is teeming with activity, okay? that's all. ] I enjoyed this. [ a beat, ] And that.
[ seeing her face: he's into it. etc etc ]
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she picks up her boots and moves out of the room to slide herself into them, one at a time. after she grabs and puts on her jacket she pauses with her hand on the door knob. nothing comes of it, apparently, because soon after the sound of the door opening up and closing is heard.
she's already pulling out her phone to request a ride and then immediately looks up the nearest convenience store. ]
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