[ that one hurts, striking like a physical blow to his guts. but he forces himself to remain steady no matter how upset she gets. she deserves to lash out at him, because somehow it's all his fault. while criticizing her for taking things onto herself, he's actually the worst offender in that category and it's only made worse by the fact that he knows it. but if he let himself off the hook for things above his paygrade, that would mean he's actually helpless and that's simply unacceptable for a man like him. jessica of all people should know why. ]
I know you're not. [ it's impossibly soft, his eyes doughy to match. there's no insincerity to be found here, not that he's ever been anything but obnoxiously earnest with her anyway. he takes a shuffling step towards her in defiance - with his history if she honestly thinks he could develop feelings for someone he sees as a victim then she doesn't know him at all. and maybe that's somehow his fault, too. he'll take it on himself whether he could have prevented it or not. ] Your plan-- our plan, I was supposed to get away. That's on me for going down with the ship. And if she had just--
[ he starts to get angry and just as quickly deflates, letting out a breath as his shoulders drop and a hand comes up to pinch the hopelessly crooked bridge of his nose. kara is a problem unto herself, one they don't have the time nor the will to parse through today. that could easily waste the rainfall, but instead they're talking about his dumb feelings. they're both probably a waste, but he needs her to understand that it isn't what she thinks it is. ]
It doesn't matter. [ he rubs his eyes briefly before letting his hand drop again, leveling her with a serious stare. ] If you did kill me, it was to save them. It was worth it. [ or would have been if literally anyone had gotten with the program. ]
You like to pretend you don't give a fuck, but you do. I see it and I've been right here at your side, Jess. [ he points at the ground, and realizes how little space is between them anymore. ]
no subject
I know you're not. [ it's impossibly soft, his eyes doughy to match. there's no insincerity to be found here, not that he's ever been anything but obnoxiously earnest with her anyway. he takes a shuffling step towards her in defiance - with his history if she honestly thinks he could develop feelings for someone he sees as a victim then she doesn't know him at all. and maybe that's somehow his fault, too. he'll take it on himself whether he could have prevented it or not. ] Your plan-- our plan, I was supposed to get away. That's on me for going down with the ship. And if she had just--
[ he starts to get angry and just as quickly deflates, letting out a breath as his shoulders drop and a hand comes up to pinch the hopelessly crooked bridge of his nose. kara is a problem unto herself, one they don't have the time nor the will to parse through today. that could easily waste the rainfall, but instead they're talking about his dumb feelings. they're both probably a waste, but he needs her to understand that it isn't what she thinks it is. ]
It doesn't matter. [ he rubs his eyes briefly before letting his hand drop again, leveling her with a serious stare. ] If you did kill me, it was to save them. It was worth it. [ or would have been if literally anyone had gotten with the program. ]
You like to pretend you don't give a fuck, but you do. I see it and I've been right here at your side, Jess. [ he points at the ground, and realizes how little space is between them anymore. ]