Shut up. [ Jess rolls her eyes behind closed lids and butts at his arm with her head. rather than rock back semi-upright again and risk another round of nothing vomit, she sags there with her temple tucked into his shoulder where a rifle butt ought to go. her insides are still searing from pumping her system empty and she's craving the ibuprofen she thinks she saw him put down but doesn't trust herself with water yet.
a sigh billows from her as she rests there insofar as he lets her. she breathes for several long seconds, treacherously close to imagining herself passing out like that with him, and strung aloft from sleep by the phrase "it's not you". Jess hates saying it and come morning, or whenever she next sees him, and if not then not long after, she'll sling it again despite its proven uselessness. and he won't reject her cowardice, either. confidence and recklessness are synonymous to her. she has just enough from his acceptance of her ugly admission to spit out the words straining the empty spaces in her most honest moments with him. ]
There was this guy. I had to be someone else for him, for a long time. [ there's no good way to slip brainwashing in there and she's already pushing her luck, so even though that's not all, she verbally shrugs, ] That's all.
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a sigh billows from her as she rests there insofar as he lets her. she breathes for several long seconds, treacherously close to imagining herself passing out like that with him, and strung aloft from sleep by the phrase "it's not you". Jess hates saying it and come morning, or whenever she next sees him, and if not then not long after, she'll sling it again despite its proven uselessness. and he won't reject her cowardice, either. confidence and recklessness are synonymous to her. she has just enough from his acceptance of her ugly admission to spit out the words straining the empty spaces in her most honest moments with him. ]
There was this guy. I had to be someone else for him, for a long time. [ there's no good way to slip brainwashing in there and she's already pushing her luck, so even though that's not all, she verbally shrugs, ] That's all.